Let's review:4:00 am Morning wake-up bell
4:30-6:30 am Meditate in the hall
6:30-8:00 am Breakfast break
8:00-9:00 am Group sitting in the hall
9:00-11:00 am Meditate in the hall
11:00-12:00 noon Lunch break
12 noon-1:00 pm Rest and interviews with the teacher
1:00-2:30 pm Meditate in the hall
2:30-3:30 pm Group sitting in the hall
3:30-5:00 pm Meditate in the hall
5:00-6:00 pm Tea break
6:00-7:00 pm Group sitting in the hall
7:00-8:15 pm Teacher's Discourse in the hall
8:15-9:00 pm Group meditation in the hall
9:00-9:30 pm Question time in the hall
9:30 pm Retire to your own room--Lights out
To be fair, I did see this schedule before I started the course. I just didn't do the math properly (never my strong suit). Ladies and gentlemen, that's 10 hours of meditation every day for 10 days = 100 hours of no moving, no scratching, no talking, no opening the eyes to peek at the clock. Hooray!
Vipassana (pronounced with a sshh, get it?) is a meditation technique that asks you to silently observe all sensations in your body, pleasant or unpleasant, without reacting. This equanimity will allow you to become free from cravings and aversions which are the cause of all misery. There's obviously more to it than that but I won't bore you with a long-winded lesson in the art of Buddhist living. If you're curious, you can check out www.dhamma.org.
My fellow students seemed to mostly be reiki masters, yoga instructors, astrologers, naturopaths, or some combination of all of those. They were kitted out in the standard issue hippie traveler garb of long flowing tunics and balloon pants. There were also several Nepali teenage girls who seemed to be there as punishment for riding on a scooter with the wrong type of boy (just like me!). These girls showed up for meditation in skinny jeans and they had a really hard time with the noble silence.
Speaking of which, the hush-hush bit was cake for me, which should come as no surprise to anyone. I loved communicating exclusively with eyes and smiles which you're technically not supposed to do either but I couldn't help it.
A word about the conditions at the Lumbini Dhamma Janani center: 98 degrees in the shade, cement bunk bed with a duvet for a mattress, a truly horrifying smell coming from the toilet, and giant insects everywhere. Remember that part in Eat, Pray, Love with the mosquitos? I reenacted it every evening.
It wasn't all torture, though. There is definitely a euphoric buzz when you emerge from a few hours of focusing all attention on the area between your nostrils and your upper lip. The senses are heightened to unprecedented levels which made meals, breezes from the ceiling fan, cold showers, and the smell of tiger balm seem like rare gifts from the Lord Buddha himself. In between sessions, we all either slept or sleep-walked around the place in a haze of endorphins. My roommate was a gecko named Genghis. I tried to get him to give up the secret of sitting in one place for hours at a time but he was also practicing noble silence. I forgave him because I think he was eating the skeeters in my bathroom.
I did almost abandon the path at one point when the A/V system started whining incessantly, the pain in my hips reached a fever pitch, and I felt like I was conducting a wild goose chase for inner peace. I'm happy that I stayed and I know that I'll be able to apply the technique of remaining even-tempered through great adversity, especially now that I've arrived in India.
It may be true that you can't achieve real peace, love, and harmony without great suffering and deprivation but I'm going to stick with yoga and chocolate for now.
Be happy.
More not-super-exciting photos
